A Bit of Morning Sunshine
by Jackie Mag
Summary: In this AU tale Brian's loft is a short train commute away from work and Liberty Avenue. Justin is a fellow commuter and they develop a friendship over time. This is not a story filled with the usual passion, but rather a way of showing that a closeness over time can develop into something more. The timeline and some facts from the original series have been altered slightly.
1. Chapter 1

Brian locked up the loft, set the alarm and headed for the train station. He liked working in the city and the bars of Liberty Avenue, but there was something that he loved about the loft when he first saw it after college. The high ceilings and the industrial feel were so appealing to him. The train was very convenient, a fifteen minute ride to the bars, and he never had to worry about driving drunk (or high). He smiled to himself when he thought of his exploits of the night before. He'd fucked another trick in the back room of Babylon. _Nice ass, but he talked too much._The train arrived on time and soon he was heading to downtown Pittsburgh.

_There he is again._ The young man sat in his usual spot. The same spot he'd inhabited for months since the start of the school year. He was blond, with bright blue eyes that averted nonchalantly every time Brian looked his way. Today the kid was sketching on the drawing pad in front of him, which was not unusual. Brian decided to sit a distance away and pretend to be fascinated with the newspaper.

Sure enough, the blue eyes were scanning him again. They rode for ten minutes that way, playing their game. Brian noticed the school blazer and pegged the kid at mid-to-late teens. He found his features fascinating and loved it when he furtively looked in his direction. If he was only fifteen or sixteen, he was too young to fool around with, but that didn't mean he couldn't admire the scenery. A couple of days earlier they'd passed each other in the aisle of the train and Brian could smell the young man's sweet innocent smell.

There was something different about the kid today, more confident. He'd held his gaze a little longer. Finally, the lady sitting next to the kid got up. After weeks of watching him, Brian decided to take the opportunity to slide into the seat next to him. Immediately, the sketch book was closed and the kid was looking out the window. _Time to find out more about him._

Brian spoke softly. "How's it going?"

The kid glanced at Brian for a second. "Fine, thanks." He was soon looking out the window again.

Brian knew that the kid usually got off the stop before Brian's, so he had to act fast. "Aren't you going to show it to me?"

The kid looked mildly shocked. "Excuse me?"

Brian smiled, realizing that his question could be taken two ways. "You've been drawing me for ten minutes. Can't I at least look at your work?"

"It's not done. I'm not … it's not ready." The kid appeared nervous.

Brian had to say something to win him over. He pulled out a business card. "My name is Brian. I work in advertising and I work with a number of artists. I know and appreciate a good sketch, believe me."

The kid studied the card and then looked into Brian's eyes. _Beautiful blue eyes._

The kid said, "Sorry, I'm just wary of bullshitters. I get enough of that at home and school. Honesty is the best."

"I promise to be honest with you." Brian leaned in to whisper. "And I never break a promise."

The kid smiled appreciatively. "OK. I guess so." He nodded at the drawing pad. "It's kind of rough." The kid took out the sketch pad and showed Brian the drawing he'd made of him. "My name's Justin, by the way." He offered his hand.

"Thanks, Justin." Brian shook his hand and then turned his attention to the drawing. It was an incredible likeness. He began to flip to other pages. There was a little protest from Justin, but he forged ahead. "These are great. You're very good. How old are you?"

"Seventeen. I'm a senior at St. James Academy."

"Are you going to study art in college?"

"I'd like to."

"You should." He smiled as he flipped to drawings of naked young men and details of the male form. "Interesting."

Justin blushed. "Hey, when the only models you have are unsuspecting guys in the locker rooms at school." He shrugged a shoulder as he hurriedly put the sketch pad into his backpack, preparing to depart the train.

"I sense there's more than an _artistic_ fascination going on." Brian gave him a little shove with his shoulder. "Am I right?"

Justin looked at him and looked away nervously. "Maybe."

"You said you'd be honest. Don't worry, Justin. I'm the same way."

"You're … "

"Gay. Nothing to be ashamed of, and, normally, nobody's business unless I'm fucking them at the time." Justin snickered. "But, well, I don't want you to feel like you're alone."

"Thanks. Yeah, it's tough. My parents don't know. My best friend, Daphne does, and this other guy, Dean."

"Your boyfriend?"

Justin smiled and then tilted his head. "Not really. We met a few weeks ago at a college recruitment thing. He's in college at Mellon, but at break he's transferring to a college in California."

"Is he hot?"

Justin licked his pink lips. "Hot enough." He stood to go to the door for his stop.

Brian stood up as well. He got a smile on his face and sniffed along Justin's cheek. He whispered into his ear. "You fucked him, didn't you? Recently."

Justin looked surprised. "That's too weird. It was last night. How the hell…?"

"I _thought_ something was different about you today."

"Now you're freaking me out." Justin laughed. "Next time, Brian."

"Next time."

Brian watched as Justin departed the train and walked to school. The kid was fuckable, but he decided he'd be too rushed to try to score with him on a ten-minute train ride. No, Justin would be just a bit of morning sunshine added to his day. That, and a cup of coffee, would be enough to get his blood pumping.

3/1/2001

_~ ~ ~ Brian ~ ~ ~_

After their first official meeting, Brian would often sit with Justin on the train. It got so that Justin would put his backpack on the seat next to him until he saw him approaching.

Brian didn't know why he enjoyed the young man's company so much. Justin was talkative at times, but also seemed to sense when Brian wasn't in the mood for conversation. They found that they had a lot of things in common and often enjoyed a laugh or two. Justin was much more intelligent than Brian considered most teenagers. It wasn't very often Brian met people who could match his wits, no matter their age.

This day, however, Brian wasn't in the mood for laughing, or smiling. He still sought out the company of his young friend, though.

"Good morning, Brian." Justin said brightly.

"Yeah. 'Morning." Brian grumbled.

They rode in silence for a while, and then Justin said. "I didn't see you the last couple of days. Were you out of town on business again?"

"No. Death in the family."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"His time had come."

"Who's that, then?"

"My old prick of a father died of cancer."

"I'm so sorry, Brian."

"I told him a while back that I was gay. I wanted him to know before he died. He told me that I should be the one dying, not him."

Justin gasped. "He didn't."

Brian looked out the window. "Asshole."

There was a lull in the conversation. Justin cleared his throat and took a breath. "My father doesn't get any awards, either, you know. We have that in common. He can't accept that I'm gay. When I told my parents last month he threatened to send me off to boarding school. I told him more butt fucking goes on there than he realizes and that it wouldn't change anything … I'd still be his queer son."

Brian looked at Justin with a sense of, what was it, pride or wonder? Here was a kid at eighteen years old who had the guts to tell his parents he was gay. Brian hadn't told his father about his own sexuality, until recently, because he'd just felt it wasn't any of his business. Brian wasn't sure he'd ever tell his mother. But there was a certain amount of admiration for Justin to have the balls to come out to his parents at such a young age. He smiled, for the first time in days, and asked, "What did your father say to that?"

"He just stood staring at me with his mouth open. I left. I've been crashing at Daphne's, or I just sneak into my parent's place late and leave early. I'm avoiding them. Who needs them?"

"You're only eighteen. You still need them. Is your mom OK with your little announcement?"

"She's getting there. She's trying to understand. She wants me to go to prom with my friend Daphne, though, just to enjoy the last of my senior year. Rite of passage and all that." He paused. "What do you think?"

"Well, you get to get all dressed up, go out with your best friend, see all of the guys all cleaned up and hot, dance all night." Brian shrugged. "Might not be a bad evening."

"It'd be better if I could take a guy." Justin smiled. "If I could take you."

Brian laughed. "My dress is at the cleaners."

The train reached Justin's stop. He turned to say, "Too bad. You don't know what you'd be missing." He looked coyly over his shoulder as he left the train.

Summer/Fall 2001

_~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~_

Justin decided to go to prom and danced with Daphne all night. As Brian suggested, he enjoyed looking at the other guys that were dressed hot.

That summer Justin got a job in an art supply store in the advertising district. Brian had seen the 'Help Wanted' sign in the window and told him about it. Justin enjoyed working there and, of course, riding the train every day with Brian. They'd share a laugh and talk of sexual exploits with other guys. They learned a lot about each other and grew closer all the time. There were inside jokes, insightful comments and genuine caring.

All summer they got off at the Gateway stop and went their respective directions.

For his part, Brian was glad to see his young friend and share their usual morning chat. It definitely brightened his day and he found his affection toward Justin growing every day.

In the fall, Justin started at Pittsburgh Institute for Fine Arts. His parents finally came to terms enough with his homosexuality that they paid his way. There were a few 'while you're under my roof' speeches from his father, but Justin endured them if it meant that he'd get college paid for. He adjusted to college life rather well. The PIFA stop was back at the same one Justin used for St. James. Brian would still see him every morning, saving him a seat on the train.


	2. Chapter 2

1/12/2002

_~ ~ ~ Brian ~ ~ ~_

Beautiful Music and Love

As the train pulled into the station, Brian could see Justin sitting in his usual seat. The kid seemed to be smiling bigger than usual. Brian got on the train and greeted him, "Hey, Justin."

"Hey." There was that grin again. Justin slid his messenger bag out of the way to make way for Brian.

"What did you put in your Wheaties this morning? Your perkiness is too much to take."

"I met a guy."

Brian felt a pang in his chest. _What was that … jealousy? That's for lesbians. Focus on the topic at hand._ "Oh, really? Some college boy?"

"Yep. He's a music student. His name is Ethan Gold and he's a violinist." Justin gave a dreamy sigh. "He's got dark curly hair and beautiful brown eyes."

"Where did you meet him?"

"Some friends talked me into going to a recital he had last week. We talked afterwards and we've seen each other a couple of times since then. He's so hot and _so_ romantic."

"Does he ply you with beautiful music and speak of love?"

"Something like that." Justin smirked. "I know you don't believe in all of that mushy stuff, but, it feels wonderful to have someone make a romantic effort."

"And you're falling for his line of bullshit."

"It's not … . You're wrong about that. I _really like_ him." Justin paused. "I helped him move a couch and he told me he'd pay me back with a song. I think I'm going to go to his place to collect it tonight."

"Translation – you're going to fuck him."

"Maybe. What's it to you?"

On some inner level Brian's skin crawled at the idea of some sweet talking fiddle player having his way with young Justin. But, what the hell? What was Justin to him anyway? Just the kid on the train. He should encourage him to lead his own life. "Just be safe and watch yourself."

"I will. Thanks, Brian." Justin stood to exit at his stop. "Next time."

"Next time."

4/17/2002

_~ ~ ~ **B**/J ~ ~ ~ **B**/J ~ ~ ~_

After dating Ethan for a few weeks, he asked Justin to move in with him. He lived close to the Pennant stop, so Justin was still on the same morning train with Brian. A couple of times in the first month of living together, Ethan took the train with Justin and was introduced to the 'famous' Brian. They exchanged pleasant conversation, but Brian could not shake the inescapable feeling that Ethan was a phony of some sort. It was the way Ethan would look at Justin like he was his most recent prize acquisition. There'd be looks of love between them, but Brian noticed Ethan's eye wandering to other guys on the train, when Justin wasn't looking. He had the feeling that Ethan was going to do something to break Justin's heart. He liked the kid too much to see that happen.

8/21/2002

_~ ~ ~ **B**/J ~ ~ ~ **B**/J ~ ~ ~_

Brian entered the train and plopped down next to Justin. "Hey."

"Hey. How's it going?"

"Fan-fucking tastic."

Justin tilted his head. "I denote a bit of sarcasm in your voice, leading me to believe that everything is _not_ fantastic."

Brian looked up the aisle and smiled open-mouthed. _Damn perceptive kid._ "What's it to you?"

"C'mon, Brian. We tell each other everything. That's the advantage of not knowing each other outside of these rides … we know all the dirty details about each other's lives. What we say on the train _stays_ on the train."

"I see." Brian chuckled. _What the hell? The kid was right. Who was he going to tell – the conductor?_ "Well, it's a couple of things. First, my friend Ted was last seen talking to some meth dealer in the bathroom of Babylon. Now he won't return our calls and no one has seen him."

"What do you think happened? Is he into drugs?"

Brian shrugged. "In the past, he's done E once or twice, but he never cared for drugs. He never even drank that much."

"Were you close?"

"I tolerated him." He ran his fingers through his hair. "He's a good guy, but I think he had a crush on Mikey, so when Mikey got a boyfriend, Ted had a hard time with that."

"You guys haven't heard from him at all?"

"Last week Ted phoned Emmett. Drunk dialed him. He was fucked up. We checked his place the next day and he'd packed a small bag and disappeared."

"Maybe he'll be back."

"I don't know." Brian sipped his coffee. "Which brings me to the second problem."

"Oh, yeah. So, what's that?"

"It's Mikey. He's going away on a religious retreat with his boyfriend, Ben."

Justin was surprised. "Really? And leave you behind? I thought that he was your best friend."

"He is, and always will be. He and I have hung out almost every day since … shit, since we were fourteen." Brian took a second to hide the pain. "But, Ben wants to go to some _find yourself_ thing in Nepal or some fucking outpost. At first, Mikey was going to let him go by himself, but now he says he wants to go with him; it will be growing experience for both of them."

"How long are they going to be gone?"

"Six months."

"Shit." Justin touched Brian's arm. "I'm sure this is tough for you."

"I'll survive just fine."

"Beautifully, as always." Justin smiled.

Brian returned his smile. "You know it."

"You still have friends around, right? Emmett? And you're close to Deb, Michael's mom."

"Yeah, but group dynamic is off." He paused. "We'd be at a bar … I could insult Ted about being old and he'd thank me for my undying honesty." He chuckled at the memory. "Mikey would hang on my every word. Emmett would cruise guys and drink Cosmos." Brian shook his head. "It's not going to be the same."

2/6/2003

_~ ~ ~ Brian ~ ~ ~_

Brian saw Justin sitting in his regular spot and drawing on his sketch pad, per his usual routine. But, today, something was off – not the same. Then Brian realized that what was wrong was that something was _exactly_ the same – Justin's clothes. It was the same red zip-up jacket, white t-shirt and brown cargo pants. The t-shirt had just-slept-in wrinkles still in it. _Justin didn't go home last night. He and Ethan probably had a fight._

With a smile on his face, Brian sat next to Justin. "Good morning." He said with a cheery tone.

"Hi." Justin returned curtly.

Brian commented, "Lovely day."

"Whatever."

With a quick scan, Brian said, "Isn't that the same stunning ensemble you wore yesterday?"

Justin grumbled, "I stayed at Daphne's last night. Not that it's any of your business."

Brian smiled. "Do I denote a discord in love's refrain?"

Justin shot him a glance. "What's it to you?"

"Hey. We have an arrangement, right? I tell you shit about my life, you tell me about yours. No judging, just honest answers, OK?"

"You are judging a little, though. You told me that I shouldn't believe Ethan's bullshit."

"So, you figured out it was bullshit?"

"Yeah." Justin's eyes turned back to the window. He rubbed at his eye with the heel of his hand.

Brian looked at the pained expression on his young friend's face and felt sympathy for him. Granted, he'd never had a real relationship with anyone that broke up – he'd never allowed anyone to get that close – but it didn't mean that he couldn't understand having a crush and a small amount of heartbreak.

He put his arm around Justin in a comforting fashion. He held him for a moment, silently, until he felt Justin relax and lean on him a little. Finally, Brian said, "You don't even have to tell me what he did; just know that I'll be here to hear all of the dirty details when you want to share."

Justin looked at Brian briefly, his eyes glistening a little, and then he turned away to face the window again. "Thanks, Brian."

They rode in silence for a while, and then Brian asked, "You're not still living with him, then?"

"No."

"Where are you going to go?"

"For now, Daphne's. But, I'm thinking of getting my own place, near the train station at Palm Garden."

Brian nodded. "Master of your own destiny. I highly recommend it." They looked at each other and smiled. Brian reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. He then found a pen and wrote a phone number on the back of the card. "Here's my cell number. If you need anything call me." He handed the card to Justin.

Accepting the card, Justin smiled. "I don't know what I'll need, but, yeah, thanks."

Brian shrugged. "A ride somewhere, a meal, a couch to crash on for a night." He held up a finger. "I don't move furniture."

Justin chuckled. "I don't _have_ any furniture."

_~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~_

Justin found a small apartment near the Palm Garden station. He admitted to Brian that all he really had was a duffle bag full of clothes and a hot plate. He texted him his address, in case he ever needed it. He told Brian that he was buying a futon mattress to sleep on.

Brian surprised him at dinnertime by showing up at his front door with two bags of Chinese takeout and a six-pack of beer. "I thought you could use a housewarming gift." They sat on the futon and ate, talked and laughed.

Justin enjoyed the company and appreciated the food. He'd spent his last bit of cash on the mattress.

Brian found that just spending a casual evening with Justin to be a great way to spend his time. With Michael and Ted in parts unknown, it was nice to have a friend to just sit around and bullshit with. He considered trying to do something more with Justin, but he still regarded him as a friend. That didn't mean that he didn't occasionally fantasize about what it would be like to do something more.


	3. Chapter 3

5/18/2003

_~ ~ Brian ~ ~_

Taking Stock in Stockwell

On their morning ride, Brian and Justin were talking, per usual, when Brian's phone rang.

"It's Mikey." He said, rather surprised. "Hey, ya bum. How was Tibet? Did you fuck any monks?" Justin snickered.

_"__Oh, Brian.__Tibet was amazing!__We meditated and hiked and then meditated some more.__It was __so__spiritual."_

"You still didn't answer my question."

_"__No, I didn't fuck any monks."_

Brian rolled his eyes. "You're so pathetic, Mikey."

_"__Say what you want, I'm really glad we went."_

"So, now you're on your way home?"

_"__That's what I'm calling about, Brian.__I … I don't know how to tell you this.__Oh, what the hell … Ben and I are in Toronto.__Our plane was delayed for a night here and we fell in love with the city.__We've decided to move here."_

Brian felt a pang in his chest at losing his best friend to another city. "What the fuck is in Toronto?"

_"__Ben and I can get married here someday, Brian.__They're much more accepting of gays."_

"Accepting of …" Brian closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What about your Mom? Am I supposed to watch her?"

_"__She'll be fine.__She has Carl.__She's very happy that we'll be able to get married here and that we've decided to live here."_

"She might say that she's glad you're living there, but she's lying."

_"__Brian, just be happy for me.__We can't live in Pittsburgh with that asshole Stockwell running for mayor."_

"That asshole Stockwell has a lot of fucking money and he's paying me to be in charge of the advertising for his mayoral campaign."

Justin looked at Brian in shock. Brian realized that he hadn't told him about being Stockwell's ad man. He'd strategically avoided the topic, so that Justin wouldn't find out. _Shit._They neared Justin's stop and he gave Brian a steely stare as he stood to exit the train.

"Justin, wait!"

_"__Who's Justin?"_

Brian almost forgot about his phone conversation. He held the phone to his ear again. "Justin is this kid on the train I talk to every day. Listen, Mikey. I'll call you when I get to my desk at work. I gotta go." He ended the call and approached Justin.

"I don't want to hear it." Justin said. "You've sold your soul to that devil. I can't believe you'd stoop that low."

"Vance pursued the contract and put his best man on it, _me_. I'm just doing my job."

"A bit too well. All of those ads about basketball playing and model airplanes with the kiddies –what a crock of Kinney bullshit. Just to sell the product!"

"He _does_ play basketball and do models with his kids." Brian insisted.

"He's an arrogant asshole who wants to shut down everything that the gay community wants and deserves. All of the bars and most of Liberty Avenue will be closed soon, cops will hassle us without reproach … he's going to fuck us over, Brian. Don't you see that?"

The doors opened and Justin jumped off the train and jogged away. Justin's words burned in Brian's brain. He knew what the kid was saying was probably right. It had been in the back of his mind. But, something about Justin's words really stung. His honesty and insight were true. _Was it too late to shut down Stockwell?_

_~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~_

All day Brian thought about Justin's comments on Stockwell. The young man was always so perceptive and had a way of seeing right through, as he called it, the Kinney bullshit. Stockwell _was_ an asshole and was going to destroy a major part of the lifestyle that Brian enjoyed. Bars would close. Hate crimes would increase and the cops would look the other way.

Also weighing on his mind was Michael moving away. He felt empty thinking about it. It was one thing that he'd gone on the Nepal trip for a half year, but now he'd moved, _actually fucking moved_, to Toronto. All in the pursuit of a happier life where gays could feel less persecuted. Michael really seemed to have found who he was looking for with Ben.

Justin was also on his mind. Brian knew he'd really pissed Justin off. Michael would always be his friend, even if remotely, but Justin might never speak to him again. He had to make things right.

_~ ~ Justin ~ ~_

After storming home and sulking to himself, Justin decided that Brian wasn't worth worrying about. _Asshole._ He started a new canvas and started painting some angry red colors when there was a knock at the door. Who the hell could that be?

"Yes?" Justin asked.

"Pizza delivery." Said the muffled reply.

"I didn't order pizza." Justin said warily. The neighborhood was dicey and he suspected people looking to break in.

"Says here delivery for Taylor, pepperoni and olives."

Justin looked through the peephole and just saw a pizza. "There must be some mistake." It was what he usually ordered, though. His curiosity got the better of him, though, and he opened the door.

The pizza box was the first thing to push through the door, being held by one Brian Kinney. "It's about time. That box was getting hot." He plopped the pizza on the table and held up an eight-pack of bottled beer. "I brought beer, too."

Justin was furious at the intrusion. "What the fuck are you doing here? I told you I don't want to talk to you. Get out!"

"Give me a minute to explain." Brian insisted. Justin started to protest, but Brian held up his hand. "Sixty seconds!"

"Thirty seconds. Go."

Brian smiled. "I'm going to sabotage Stockwell's campaign from within. I'll set him up so that he's faced with issues he's uncomfortable with, like gays getting hurt or killed and no police investigation. Everyone will see him for the asshole that he is."

A slow smile crossed Justin's lips. He could see that Brian had some good ideas and seemed to really see Stockwell for what he was. "Do you think it'll really work?"

"If we work together and brainstorm some ideas." Brian pulled two beer bottles out of the package and opened them. He handed one to Justin. "Will you be my co-conspirator?"

Justin accepted the beer and held it up to toast Brian. "When do we start?"

"Right now." They clinked the bottles together and drank.

For the next hour they talked, ate pizza and finished all of the beer. They decided to do a number of things, including having Stockwell speak at the Gay and Lesbian Center, and a poster campaign making him out to be Hitler or a clown. Justin took copious notes and drew sketches for the posters.

Justin truly enjoyed his time with Brian. For the second time since he met Brian they actually got to talk for more than the ten minutes on the train. He could tell that Brian was hurting, too, but didn't bring up the off-limits subject of Michael.

Finally, the subject came up, though, and Justin felt comfortable asking a question. "Tell me about you and Michael." A question was burning in his mind. "Did you and Michael ever …?" He gave a meaningful glance.

"Oh, God no." Brian had a look of distaste. "Not Mikey." He grinned. "Although he would have done it. He made that clear more than once." He shook his head. "Sometimes I'd kiss him to show my affection for him. Ben was the first to understand that, although initially I think it pissed him off." He paused, thoughtfully. "He needed to find his own way and meet someone like Ben." He stood up and walked over to the window. "And now he'll live happily ever after in Toronto."

Justin could read between the lines and see Brian's pain. He walked up to him and reached out to touch his shoulder. "You have other friends."

"Not like him."

"What kind of friend am I, Brian?" Justin tilted his head a little as he ran his thumb over Brian's shoulder. Justin knew he sounded a little needy, but he long wondered where he stood.

Brian turned to him. "Somebody I can conspire with." He shrugged. "My commuter friend."

Justin had always wanted something more. He asked, "Would you kiss me?"

A kiss on the forehead was what he received. "There." Brian patted him on the shoulder and started to walk away.

Justin held him back. "C'mon. You cared enough to come to this crummy neighborhood to talk to me."

Brian took a moment and had a look of realization on his face. "I did do that." He touched Justin's cheek. "I didn't want to lose two friends in one day."

"I'll always be your friend." Justin assured him.

Brian moved a step closer and their lips met. Justin could feel a heat from inside him as his heart swelled. For a second, their tongues touched, but then Brian ended the kiss. They hugged. Brian whispered in his ear, "And I yours." He stepped back. "I should be going." He stumbled a bit as he turned and Justin caught him.

Justin aimed him toward a chair and pushed him to sit down. "You should stay the night." He said hopefully, then added nonchalantly. "It's late and you've had those beers…"

"I never stay over at a guy's place, even if I fucked them."

"Well, you are staying because you're a little drunk, very tired and it's very late." Justin added. "And, we're not fucking."

"Why not?" Brian joked as his hand slid up Justin's leg and rested on his crotch.

Justin swatted the hand away. "Because after you fuck a guy once you have nothing to do with him after that. I don't want to be one of _them_. I like you too much as a friend. I think that's why you never fucked Michael – you knew you'd be done with him."

"Oh, is that a fact, Dr. Taylor? Maybe I didn't because I don't think of him that way."

"How _do_ you think of him?"

"He's my best friend." Brian paused sadly. "We've been through everything together since we were fourteen." Brian paused for a second and then cleared his throat, obviously having a tough time expressing his feelings. "I love him. Always have, always will." He chuckled. "He'd hang on my every word and knew what to say all of the time." He stood up and picked up his cigarettes and lighter and stuffed them in his pockets. "Sorry to spoil your slumber party plans, Justin, but I'm going home. I'm taking the train. I'll be fine." Brian started toward the door. "I have to get up early and start working on the plans we made."

Justin opened the door. "OK. Well, if you think you'll be OK. Text me when you get home? Just to know you're all right." They nodded at each other. "Thanks for coming over and the pizza and everything."

Brian nodded. "See you on the train, then?"

"Next time."

"Next time."

Justin watched as Brian walked away. He was disappointed that he hadn't talked him in to staying the night. Part of Justin meant what he said about not sleeping with Brian, for fear the friendship would be over. But, another part of his heart yearned for a deeper kiss, skin on skin, and the passion that he knew that he and Brian could share.

_~ ~ Brian ~ ~_

All of the way home and before going to sleep, Brian couldn't stop thinking about Justin. Brian locked the loft and got ready for bed. He went over their conversations and the notes that were taken about Stockwell's anti-campaign. Eventually, though, what he couldn't get out of his mind was the invitation to sleep over. He lay in bed and rolled to his side, imagining seeing his young blond friend next to him. Even though Justin said they wouldn't be fucking, there was something in that kiss…

Brian thought again of the kiss and then imagined what might have happened next. It was a good fantasy for self-gratification for that night.


	4. Chapter 4

~ ~ June 2003 ~ ~

_~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~_

Starting Something New

Brian made sure Stockwell appeared at speaking engagements where embarrassing questions were asked. Often, Stockwell found himself sputtering to respond to questions about his 'family values' and how it would affect the gay community. He never really tied his problems to Brian, however, but Vance suspected.

Debbie did what she could to get the gay community out to vote. Lindsay and Mel seemed desperate to stop Stockwell, too, campaigning for the opponent. There was a low voter turnout however, and Stockwell hung on to win.

Vance confronted Brian about the suspect Stockwell appearances. Brian defiantly admitted that he'd tried to 'fuck him up'. Vance reluctantly fired Brian. He couldn't have one of his own working against a client.

Brian sat around his apartment for days, getting high. He hit a few bars, but, sure enough, they were all closed by the end of the week.

He hadn't seen Justin in days and found himself actually missing him. He found an excuse to ride the morning train just to see him and talk to him for a few minutes. Brian told him about losing his job and why. Justin was sorry that Brian had lost his job over their plans to work against Stockwell, but felt pride and admiration for Brian to risk so much for something he believed in. His attraction to Brian grew, also.

One day, Justin was on his way to his summer job at the art store, but Brian asked him if he had a few minutes for a cup of coffee. Justin agreed and they stopped at a place a few doors down from the store. They talked for a half an hour. Finally, Justin looked at his watch and thanked Brian before dashing off.

Brian sat and watched as Justin waved at him before turning toward the store. For the first time in days, he found warmth inside, and it wasn't the coffee. A simple conversation with Justin and the reassurance he got from him was enough to give him … _what was that_ … happiness.

For the next few weeks Brian decided to strike out on his own and manage his own advertising company. He'd ride the train in with Justin and then meet with potential clients. Brian found the routine of getting dressed up for work and going into the city energizing. The chats with Justin did a lot for him, too, whether or not he realized it. Justin suggested the name for his new company – Kinnetik.

Soon Brian had Kinnetik off the ground and rented a small space in the city that, initially, he shared with Cynthia, his loyal professional assistant.

12/8/2003

_~ ~ ~ Justin ~ ~ ~_

Justin looked at the South Hills Junction stop with trepidation. Brian was due to get on at that stop. He'd been in a foul mood for days. It all started when Lindsay and Mel decided to move and take the kids with them to Toronto. Stockwell was making things increasingly difficult for the homosexual community in Pittsburgh. Michael and Ben were very happy in Toronto. They told the girls how much more tolerant people were there. The four of them had talked and thought it'd be best for J.R. to be with her father and all of them to live in Toronto.

They told Brian on a Sunday. Monday was rage. Tuesday was sadness. Wednesday was 'they can't take Gus'. Thursday was resignation that Gus was better off with his moms, with visits from him.

Today was Friday. Brian entered the train with a smile on his face and then Justin saw the boy. _That must be Gus.__He's adorable._

"Hey, Brian. Who's your young friend here?" Justin asked knowingly while sliding his bag off the seat.

Brian sat down with three year old Gus in his lap. "This is my son, Gus." He smiled proudly. "Gus, this is my good friend Justin. We sit here and talk every morning." He set down what Justin surmised was the boy's overnight bag.

"Nice to meet you Gus." Justin said politely, his heart glad that Brian had referred to him as his _good friend_. "You're father talks about you a lot." Gus nodded shyly and smiled. Justin gently took his hand and shook it. "So, what's the occasion for your ride together?"

"Sonny Boy here stayed overnight with his old man. This morning we're meeting Lindsay and Mel at my office and they're going to take off from there for Toronto."

"Today, huh?"

Brian's expression showed a flash of pain. "Yeah, today."

Justin brightened artificially. "It's going to be so exciting going to a new city and seeing all of the great things there. Are you excited, Gus?"

"Sorta. But I'm going to miss Daddy." He hugged his father.

Justin's heart warmed at the sight of father and son together. Justin said, reassuringly, "He'll go and visit you all the time."

"That's right." Brian smiled. "Hey, bud, cheer up. Tell Justin where we went yesterday."

"The zoo."

Justin grinned. "I love the zoo. I was just there sketching last week. What's your favorite animal?"

"Giraffes."

"Hey, I like them too. I have a sketch in here, I think." Justin started to dig though his notes and found what he was looking for. He pulled the page out of his book. "Here, Gus. This is the picture I drew."

Gus's face brightened. "Look, Daddy. Cool giraffe picture."

"Would you like to keep it?" Justin asked.

"Sure! Can I Daddy?"

Brian nodded. "Sure. Make sure you have him sign it so that when he's famous someday it'll be worth a lot of money."

Justin smiled as he got his pen out. "To Gus, a fellow animal lover. I hope we can meet again someday. Justin." He admired his work. "OK, there you go, young man."

"What do you say?" Brian prompted.

Gus looked blankly at his father, so Brian suggested what to say. "Thank you, Justin."

"Thank you, Jussin." The boy smiled to show his pleasure.

"You're very welcome. Well, this is my stop." Justin stood to leave. "It was _so_ nice to meet you." He stroked and patted the boy's head.

Brian put Gus in Justin's seat by the window, and then turned to look at Justin.

There was pain evident in Brian's face for a second, before his usual mask returned. Justin said, "Everything's going to be all right. You'll see each other all of the time in very special daddy/son visits."

There was a pause. Brian nodded, and then stood up to put the drawing in Gus' bag. Justin patted his friend on the back to console a man who obviously had to suffer a painful goodbye to his son. Brian turned to Justin, leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks." His hand reached for Justin's and he squeezed it in a move of gratitude.

"He'll be happy to have visits from you that are your own special times. I know _I_ enjoy our visits."

Brian's lips curled into a smile. "Well, our relationship isn't exactly father/son."

"No, I suppose not. But, I have more honest conversations and get more advice and encouragement from you than I ever got from my father." Justin smiled at Brian, waved at Gus and then left. He had a tear in his eye as he thought of the pain that his friend must be feeling. He truly cared for Brian and it warmed his heart to see him as the great father he knew he'd be.

3/6/2004

_~ ~ ~ Brian ~ ~ ~_

As Brian entered the train he expected to see his friend Justin, with his shaggy blond hair, sitting in their usual spot. That image in his head was much different than what he saw, however. The long mane was now a trim buzz cut! He couldn't believe how much different he looked and couldn't resist a comment. "Excuse me, have you seen the guy I usually sit with? He's got messy blond hair, about …" He indicated a collar length by pointing to his neck.

"It's still me, asshole." He smiled and moved his bag off of the seat.

"Oh, Justin! Hello. Didn't recognize you." They both snickered as Brian sat. "Why the new look?"

"Everyone in the Pink Posse got buzz cuts. We want to look tough." He looked tentatively at Brian. "What do you think?"

Brian couldn't resist and ran his hand over the top of Justin's head. "It's hot." The silky feel of the soft hairs tickled his fingertips.

A smile crawled onto Justin's face. "Thanks."

"Wait a minute, did you say Pink Posse?"

"Remember I told you about this guy Cody and his fight against gay bashing?"

"Cody is calling his little vigilante group the Pink Posse?" Brian raised an eyebrow.

Justin opened his jacket to reveal a pink sleeveless t-shirt. "Yes. And we all wear these, too."

"I thought you wanted to look tough." Brian said with a chuckle. "That's not going to do it."

"We _are_ tough." Justin said defiantly, zipping up his jacket. "We have been working out in the boxing ring, learning to fight."

"And patrol the streets to watch over defenseless fags everywhere." Brian was worried for his friend. "I don't think that's too smart. You're asking for trouble."

"We always travel in pairs. I'm always with Cody." Justin looked around and then whispered to Brian. "He carries a gun this big." He indicated the size of the Magnum that Cody had shown him. "Unloaded, of course. Just scares people off."

"You're still asking for it. What if someone….?" He trailed off, his voice showing signs of concern. "He's putting you in danger."

"He wouldn't do that. He really likes me. I think he's tough and what the gay community needs."

"Is he your new boyfriend?"

"Maybe. We … yeah, we're pretty tight."

They rode in silence for a few minutes while Brian thought of Justin with Cody. Thoughts of another man touching him and running his hand over that velvet hair. "How big is his dick?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Is it as big as his gun?"

Justin gave in with a sigh. "Unfortunately, no."


	5. Chapter 5

6/25/2004

_~ ~ ~ Justin ~ ~ ~_

Liberty Diner's New Delivery Boy

As Justin rode the morning train he thought about a number of things. For one, his experiences of late with Cody had gotten out of hand. Cody's fascination with guns and violence were just too much. It was one thing to defend the gays on the streets, but picking fights for no real reason was against what Justin thought the Pink Posse should be about. He had broken up with Cody and wasn't interested in seeing him again.

He realized that by ending it with Cody, that was two failed relationships in a couple of years. He sighed and looked blankly at his sketch book, uninspired. He checked his watch again. _Oh well, there are other guys out there._At twenty-one he knew that much of his dating life was ahead of him, but, deep down, he longed for someone to share his life with.

As the train stopped at South Hills Junction Justin looked for Brian. He hoped that he'd be getting on the train and sitting in his usual seat. They'd had that routine for so long, but for the last three weeks there was no sign of him. On their last ride together, Brian had said something about taking a vacation to Spain, so, at first; Justin assumed that was the case. But, this was much later and Justin couldn't imagine Brian leaving his business that long. Since Brian bought Babylon he'd been busy with that, but that didn't explain so many days away. Texts had gone unanswered. Something was up.

When Brian didn't get on at his usual stop that was the last straw. Justin put together a plan. _I've got to find out what the fuck is going on. _ He decided that he could miss that day's lecture. It was a substitute teacher that day, anyway. He decided to take the train going further into the city. The next stop, Gateway, would bring him within a block of the Liberty Diner.

A short train ride later, he was walking down Liberty Avenue toward the diner. When he'd cruised with the Pink Posse he'd been by here a few times, but had never ventured inside. Brian had talked about the Diner enough times that he knew that someone in there would probably know where he was.

As the bell over the door announced his arrival, a bouncy redheaded lady turned and looked at him. She was wearing a rainbow colored vest and a t-shirt that said 'Got lube?'. She smiled as he approached the counter and said, "Hi, I'm Deb. What'll it be? Today's pink plate special is meat loaf with broccoli."

At the word 'broccoli', Justin scrunched his nose. "No, thanks."

"It's good for you." She said as she pointed a lacquered fingernail at him.

"I'm not here to eat. I'm looking for some information. Do you know Brian Kinney?"

Deb rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me. He fucked you a while back and now you want to find him to profess your love. Am I close?"

Justin laughed. "Hardly. We're just friends. I've ridden the train with him for, like, three years with some regularity. But he hasn't been on the train lately and I was worried that something is wrong."

Her face softened as she patted his hand. "I'm afraid he's not doing too well right now."

"What's wrong? Is he sick? Car accident? Tell me." He smiled his broadest smile. "Please!"

She smiled. "Listen, Sunshine …"

"It's Justin."

"Justin, I don't know how well he _does_ know you or what he'd want me to say. I don't want to betray a confidence, ya know?"

"If he's sick I can bring him some chicken soup or something."

"I don't know."

Justin pulled out his cell phone and checked the number against Brian's note on the back of his business card. "I've texted him and tried calling his cell, but there's no response." He checked it again and shook his head.

Deb cocked her head slightly. "You have his cell number?" She glanced at the card and saw the correct number written in Brian's handwriting on the back. That seemed to change her opinion of him. "He doesn't usually give that out."

"Yeah. He gave it to me a while back." He looked up from his phone. "Can you help me, please?" Justin was desperate to know how Brian was doing and to see him.

Deb seemed to sense his desperation. "Give me a sec." She picked up the receiver from a phone at the counter and dialed a number from memory. "Hey, Brian. How are you feeling?"

She listened and winced slightly at his response. Justin looked on apprehensively. She held up her fingers in an 'OK' sign. "Uh, huh. Well, I'm concerned that you're not eating. We just got a new delivery boy and I'm going to send him around with some chicken soup and some lemon bars."

Justin smiled again. He was getting his wish.

She winked at him. Deb's face then grew stern. "Hey, I don't want to hear any more of that shit. You're going to accept delivery of this soup and you're going to damn well eat it." Her face softened again and Justin could see her affection for Brian. "It's on the house, honey. I hope you feel better." She hung up. "Let me get that for you … delivery boy." She winked again.

Justin waited patiently as she got a container of soup and a box of lemon bars and put them into a bag. As she walked up to him, he said, "I'll need his address. I know his train stop and that he's on Fuller by Tremont, but …"

"It's six Fuller. Ring the buzzer. He's on the top floor. There's a freight elevator." She patted his hand again.

He leaned across the counter and squeezed her hand affectionately. "Thanks, Deb."

"Send him my love and if you need anything more for him, let me know, Sunshine."

He nodded and headed off to catch the train to get to the South Hills Junction stop and then to six Fremont. Soon, he was at the front buzzer. He rang the top button next to . "Hello. Delivery from Liberty Diner."

"That was fast. Sure, come on up." Brian's voice sounded weak.

The buzzer sounded. Justin grabbed the door and then took the elevator to the top floor. He saw that the apartment door was open a crack, so he slid it open in order to enter the loft. He marveled at the wood details and the stainless steel appliances. A voice from the bedroom said, "Just put it on the counter."

Justin set the bag on the counter and went towards the voice. He found Brian curled up in bed, barefoot, in a t-shirt and jeans. He looked gaunt and withdrawn. Justin was instantly concerned. "Oh, my God! What's happened to you?"

Brian lifted his head and opened his eyes. "Justin? What the fuck are you doing here? You should be in school. Get out."

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on. You weren't on the train so I asked Deb at the Diner if I could bring you something to make you feel better."

"Nothing's going to make me feel better than seeing you out." Brian began to stand up and then stumbled.

Justin caught him and felt how weak his friend had become. "You should stay in bed."

Brian pushed him aside and went to the couch. "Just get out. I don't want anyone to see me like this." He sat down.

"What happened?" Justin was resolute. "Listen here, Brian, I'm only interested as a friend. We've known each other for three years and have been there for each other for a lot of ups and downs. I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not, and I'm certainly not fucking leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on." He folded his arms across his chest and planted his feet for emphasis.

Reclined on the couch, Brian lifted his head and opened one eye. He sighed, giving in to the demands of the younger man. "Testicular cancer. They removed a nut and gave me a lovely prosthetic." Justin sank to sit at the foot of the couch. "I've started radiation and it makes me nauseous. I've been like this for days. It sucks."

Justin considered the words and what it all meant for Brian. _Cancer.__Surgery.__Treatments.__Nausea._ It was all almost too much to take in. He felt a wave of sympathy for his friend.

He knew that Deb cared about Brian; he could see it in her face. But, true to form, he was rejecting any help. Justin decided, then and there, that he was going to help his friend and not take any crap for it. But, he'd have to do it without being patronizing. He remembered Brian saying things in the past like "pity makes my dick soft" and his general distaste for anyone feeling sorry for him.

Justin stood up. "I'm going to pour you some of that soup and you're going to at least try to drink some of it." He looked around at the messy loft apartment. "I know you mentioned a cleaning lady comes in once a week, how long before she's due back?"

"What day is it?"

"Thursday."

"She won't be back until Monday."

"Well, then, I'll do some straightening up." He smiled, satisfied with his decision. "First, soup."

Over the course of the next hour, Justin served soup to the reluctant patient, changed the soiled bed sheets and washed them. He cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. He checked the mail and played Brian's messages for him.

Brian watched the actions of his young friend carefully, but didn't seem to have enough strength to resist his assistance.

When Justin felt satisfied that he'd done about all he could, he sat at the foot of the couch again. "When do you want me to be here tomorrow?"

"I don't."

Justin wasn't having any of it. "When do you need the most help? I could drop by in the morning before class and bring you breakfast."

"I don't eat breakfast." Brian rubbed his face with his hands. "But I suppose you could come in the morning and bring me something for me to have here for my lunch."

Justin smiled. "I'll make you something like a sandwich or soup or both, OK?"

"Deb knows what I usually get. Just a sandwich or something. Although, at this moment, I can't imagine being hungry."

Justin got up to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow. I'm taking this key." He waggled a key on a beer opener key fob. "And, Brian…"

"Yeah?"

"Take a shower, my friend." Justin patted him on the shoulder.

_~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~_

Justin showed up the next morning with a turkey on whole wheat sandwich. He noticed that all of the soup and half of a lemon bar had been consumed. Brian was grumpy and difficult, but Justin was immune to his demeanor. Every morning he'd be back, doing a little cleanup and making sure the fridge had something fresh and healthy for Brian to eat. They'd talk about anything and everything. Brian especially seemed to enjoy the gossip from the Diner that Justin would pick up from Deb at the same time he was picking up food. Deb and Justin grew fond of each other and they developed a good friendship. She was glad that Brian had such a loyal friend who obviously cared about him.

Brian continued to get better, especially after the treatments stopped.

One morning, Justin arrived at his usual time and found Brian is his suit and jacket. He was looking a little tired, but more energetic than he had been on previous days.

"Good morning, Justin. You brought my lunch?"

"Brian, hi! You look great. Feeling like your old self?"

"Feeling very old." Brian chuckled. "Let's put that sandwich in my briefcase and then you can make sure this old man makes it to the train station so I can get to work."

Justin took the wrapped and bagged sandwich and put it in the offered briefcase. "So, you're feeling better?"

"Yes, Nurse Taylor. You did a fine job."

"I didn't do anything." Justin said modestly.

"You were here for me." Brian pulled him into a friendly hug. Justin relaxed and enjoyed the embrace. He truly cared about Brian and was very happy to see him almost back to normal. And the fact that Brian _acknowledged_ his assistance warmed his heart to the man even more. Justin felt his eyes well up and turned his head away from Brian so he wouldn't see him.

Brian peered at him and turned his face to meet his. "It's OK. No need for that."

"Sorry."

Brian ruffled Justin's hair. "So, what's the latest gossip from the Diner?" He locked the loft door and they proceeded down in the elevator.

"Emmett and Michael are talking about the Liberty Ride from Toronto to Pittsburgh. Sounds like they're both going. And Ben and Hunter."

"Are you going?"

"I can't. My mom is taking me to New York the day the ride takes off. She wants me to see the Warhol art exhibit the day it opens. I'm very excited. We'll be back the next day, but by then I will have missed most of the ride."

"Good for you." Brian shook his head. "Three days on a bike seat. No thanks."

"If you train you might be able to do it. If you want." Justin shrugged. "They say you can't, but, hey, fuck 'em."

Brian laughed as they walked to the station. "I like your attitude."


	6. Chapter 6

9/18/2004

_~ ~ ~ Justin ~ ~ ~_

Waiting With a Smile

Justin was at home doing some reading when his phone buzzed. He looked at it. There was a text from Brian:

Brian: Finishing the Liberty Ride tonight

Justin: OMG, you did the ride? U R nuts.

Brian: Only 1 nut and it hurts.

Justin: LOL, I'll bet. Where's the finish line?

Brian: By the Diner. Deb'll be there. U?

Justin: Sure, if u want

Brian: I wouldn't mind. Might need help & painkillers

Justin: I'll be there with Deb

Justin phoned the Diner and talked to Deb, who had just arrived back from the Liberty Ride. She told him that all of the riders were due back around five o'clock in the afternoon. He met her at the finish line around that time. She gave him the news about Brian breaking his collarbone in a fall on the second day of the ride. She also told him that, since so many of their friends were in Toronto, Ben and Michael decided to get married.

They chatted for some time while they waited. Emmett crossed the line and talked to them.

Justin asked, "Did you see Brian?"

"Last time I saw him was at the dinner break, honey."

Deb and Justin thanked him and helped him with his bicycle. Emmett headed home.

Other weary riders crossed the line. More time passed. Justin looked at his watch. "The last rider came by an hour ago. Where the hell is he?"

Carl finished a cell phone call. "The patrol car on the city limits reported one bicycle coming south off of I-279. Matches his description."

Deb piped in. "That's probably him. Nobody else is riding a bike this time of night."

Carl smiled. "I'm going to go sit in the car to wait." He kissed Deb and then sat in his car.

Justin paced nervously. Deb asked, "Are you OK, honey?"

"I'm worried. He's, like, my best friend. He's meant so much to me over the last few years. All of those conversations; encouraging me, advising me, caring about me."

Deb gave him a wary look. "Do you love him?"

Justin thought about her question. "I love him as a friend."

"I sense there's something more."

"I'd just like to know him better. Outside of the train rides."

Deb smiled sweetly. "Michael has loved that boy for years and never got anywhere with Brian romantically. Don't fall into that trap. Find someone else."

Justin considered her idea. "I guess."

"If you want to get to know him better ask him to a movie or something. He and Michael used to go to the movies for _hours_." She laughed. "And they'd come home smelling like pot."

He chuckled, too, at the thought of Brian high. "So, I should buy some weed, take him to a movie and get him high?"

"You don't have to buy any." Deb looked over her shoulder at her fiancé and waved to him in his car. He waved back. She talked out of the side of her mouth. "I have some at home in my protein shake container. Carl never looks there."

They both laughed. As the laughs ended they turned their attentions back to the top of the hill. Finally, a lone, dark rider appeared. It was Brian, holding on to the handlebars with one hand. He was moving very slowly and painfully.

Carl got out of his car. They moved to help Brian a few feet from the finish line, but he waved them off. "Gotta … finish." He finally crossed the line and practically collapsed. They caught him. He got off of the bike.

Deb said, "Carl and I will take the bike and lock it up. You should get home and lie down, Brian. Sunshine, can you help him?"

Brian was now standing with his arm around Justin for support. "Sunshine?"

"It's her pet name for me." Justin said.

Brian snickered for a second and then tried to take a step. His legs were wobbly and almost gave out. "Fuck!"

Justin said, "I have my car. I can drive you home. C'mon, Brian." Carl got Brian's duffel bag out of his car. It had been retrieved hours earlier off of the bus from Toronto.

Once they arrived at Brian's, Justin helped him to his loft.

"I'll put your stuff away. I'm sure you just want to go to bed."

Brian shook his head as he headed to the bathroom. "No, I'm going to take a shower. There wasn't a decent shower the whole fucking trip."

"OK. But, your arm is tied up and you can't do that by yourself."

Brian looked at the knotted fabric. "Would Nurse _'__Sunshine'_ care to assist?"

"Sure."

Justin had thought about Brian a number of times, wondering what he'd look like naked. Here was his chance. Although he was dying of curiosity and his heart beat rapidly in his chest, he had to remind himself of the reason he was there. He had to help Brian because he was in pain and truly needed a friend.

He helped Brian out of his clothes. He admired the muscles in his chest and stomach and carefully untied the brace holding the broken collarbone in place. "Now, don't move your arm. It'll hurt like hell and the bone won't set right."

"Thank you for that public service announcement."

Justin turned on the shower and watched as Brian stepped inside. As Justin put the clothes in the hamper in the bedroom he heard Brian swear.

"Fuck!"

Justin re-entered the bathroom. "What's wrong?"

"I can't even wash my fucking armpits … because I can't reach with … this damn arm … goddammit!"

"Hold on." Justin realized the only way Brian was going to get thoroughly clean was if he had 'in-shower' assistance. He began to disrobe.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Justin finished undressing, tossed his underwear aside and entered the shower. "Now turn around and face the shower wall."

"So bossy."

"Give me the washcloth." Brian did so and Justin began soaping the cloth.

"I know what this is." Brian said over his good shoulder.

"Yeah, what?"

"It's all a ploy to get naked with me. You want me."

"Yes, Brian. This version of you … broken, limping, exhausted, drugged on painkillers and cranky is the ultimate in sexy for me and I'm throwing myself at you." He began to scrub Brian's back vigorously.

Brian moaned a little as Justin continued to scrub. "Shit, that feels good."

"Lift your left arm just a little." Justin washed there. "Do you want to wash your hair, too?" He scrubbed Brian's legs, massaging a little as he went.

Brian was giving in to the strong hands of his young friend and letting him take over. "Yes. That'd be good."

Justin took the shampoo off the shelf and worked some into Brian's auburn hair. He enjoyed watching the suds run down Brian's back and along the crack of his ass. Justin couldn't help the hard on that he was getting.

Brian must have felt the nudge of it during the application of the conditioner and he turned around revealing that he, too, was getting aroused. As his eyes cleared of the hair care products he looked down at Justin and their cocks pointing to each other. He smiled. "I see that we are both getting something out of this washing exercise."

Justin blushed as he soaped the washcloth to wash Brian's chest. He didn't scrub quite as vigorously as he had on the back. At this point his motions were more tender and sweet. "I can't help it. You _are_ attractive, even if you're a little messed up right now."

"As I thought."

Justin got up his nerve and said, "I was thinking that, maybe some time, we could see a movie and maybe go out for a drink afterwards."

Brian looked at Justin. "Are you asking me out?"

"I guess." He stood up straighter. "Yes, I am. I just thought that we know each other as friends and maybe we could be, you know, more than friends." He continued to wash Brian's chest.

"Look, Sunshine, I enjoy seeing you on the train and our little conversations. I appreciate that you helped me when I was sick and again today, but, I don't _do boyfriends_."

Justin began to get upset. "Why the hell not? Are you afraid to get too close to someone?" He thought about reasons why. Brian didn't want to get attached to anyone else because so many people had left Pittsburgh. They'd left him behind. "Brian, I'm not going anywhere."

"As you have observed, most of my relationships with men are a fuck once…"

Justin interrupted. "Fuck once and _nice to know ya_. Yes, you've told me." He shook his head. "I'd like this to be more than that." He handed Brian the washcloth and exited the shower.

"Hey, we're not done here."

Justin quickly toweled off. "I'm pretty sure you can reach the rest yourself." He put his underwear on, grabbed his clothes off of the floor and walked out of the bathroom. He went into the dining area and began to put on his jeans.

He could hear the water turn off and wet feet approach him. He turned to see Brian standing there, holding a towel around him, water still dripping off of his hair and trickling down his chest. It was the hottest thing Justin could ever remember seeing.

Brian said, "You don't get what you want, so you just leave? Stand up for yourself and say what you want."

The combination of anger and arousal confused Justin. He blurted out the first thing that came into his head. "You." He closed his eyes shut so he wouldn't see the muscular chest with moisture glistening off of it. "I want _you_, OK?" He reached for his t-shirt and put it on and then looked at Brian again. "I want more than ten minute conversations with you every day. I want to get to know you better."

Brian smirked. "We just showered together…" He tucked the towel around his waist.

"You know what I mean." Justin wasn't being dismissed. "I want to date you." He looked into the man's hazel eyes. "I want to kiss you."

Brian seemed to take it all in and took a moment to process what Justin was saying. He nodded slightly and held his good arm out to the side in the offer of an open embrace.

Justin approached slowly and started to move to kiss the man in front of him.

Brian's gentle hand touched Justin's cheek and held him back for a second. He pulled Justin toward him and their lips met for a soft kiss. As they started to deepen the kiss, Justin moved forward a little and his shoulder bumped Brian's bad side. "Ow!"

"Oh, Brian. I'm sorry."

"No, that's OK." Brian stepped back and held his arm to protect the broken collarbone. "This thing is really fucking hurting, though. I should probably put that brace back on."

"Let me help you."

Brian nodded and headed back to the bedroom. Justin followed and soon was helping his friend into the arm brace. They worked in relative silence while Justin retied the temporary arm brace around Brian to keep his collarbone stable. "You have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to get a proper brace?"

"Yeah." As Brian reclined in bed, he said, "Justin, I've never, for more than two minutes, considered, dating anyone…"

"So, I should just forget it?"

"I wasn't finished. I've never really considered it, until tonight when you asked me." He smiled a little. "You're not as annoying as other guys."

"Gee, thanks."

"Knowing that you were at the finish line today, waiting for me with that bright smile of yours, was one of my reasons for finishing." He sighed. "I might not date, but, who knows, someday, maybe you and I could, ya know, give it a try."

Justin's face brightened.

"I'm not making any promises, but, yeah, after I'm better and no longer tied up."

"Literally."

Brian chuckled. "Yeah."

"OK. That's … that'll be good."

Brian reached up and touched Justin's cheek. "Next time, Nurse _'__Sunshine'_."

"Next time."

Justin went home, locked up and got undressed for bed. As he lay naked he flashed back to Brian's amazing body with soap suds and water washing over it. He touched himself and fantasized about Brian. What would it feel like to touch his cock and stroke him? He imagined Brian doing those things to him as his speed increased. He came as he shouted, "Brian!"


	7. Chapter 7

Early 2005

_~ ~ ~ Brian ~ ~ ~_

Let Someone Be Close to You

In the weeks after Brian's accident, he wore a brace and adhered, more or less, to the instructions from his doctor. He hit the few bars that had reopened and found that having only one usable arm didn't slow him down much when picking up men.

He'd see Justin on the train in the morning. Brian, of course, remembered telling the young man that he'd consider going out with him. After the brace came off, Justin dropped some hints his way. He'd suggest places to meet or things to do together. Brian always found an excuse to avoid such rendezvous.

Brian was attracted to Justin and truly enjoyed his company. What he saw of his body the night that they shared a shower was enough to confirm to him that every part of Justin was desirable. That wasn't the problem. In Brian's mind he liked things just fine the way they were. He'd see 'Sunshine' in the morning and share pleasant conversation. Then he'd go on with his day. He convinced himself that's all he wanted from him. Somehow he felt that dating or fucking him would jeopardize that dynamic. Justin might want something more. He'd want to hold his hand. He'd want to, ugh, have breakfast with him and have a _dating relationship_. These were not things that Brian saw himself wanting.

Eventually, Justin stopped asking and they had their usual morning chats. They were always upbeat and no grudges were held at the failure of romance.

After the first of January, 2005, Carl planned his retirement. He had enough saved up to get out of the police force. Ever since Stockwell became mayor things had turned in a direction that Carl wasn't comfortable with. When he was offered an early retirement package, he took it.

When Deb was first talking about Carl's retirement she was saying how happy she was that they could take more trips to Toronto to visit Michael and their granddaughter, J.R..

But, one day, while Brian was having breakfast with Emmett and Emmett's boyfriend, Drew, Deb sat down to tell them some news. Carl and Deb had decided to move to Toronto to be with the kids. Deb found a Diner a lot like the Liberty Diner and was going to be a part time waitress. Carl got a job as a consultant for a security firm and would be going to their offices once a week. They'd move in two weeks.

Brian was brokenhearted, although he didn't show it. He had always loved Deb as a second mother. Hell, she'd been more of a mom to him than his own mother. Her brassy ways and fierce devotion were sometimes an irritant, but occasionally her best traits.

Emmett told her he was very happy for her and hugged her. Drew congratulated her. Brian offered a similar sentiment and got a big kiss on his cheek and a hug, too, whether he liked it or not. Brian went to work and sulked all day. His world was disappearing. He only had Emmett around as a friend, and most of the time _he_ was with his boyfriend. Watching the happy couple was sometimes too much for Brian to stand and made him feel even more alone.

_~ ~ ~ Justin ~ ~ ~_

At the going away party thrown at the Diner, Deb cornered Justin and asked him if anything had ever come of his plan to date Brian.

"No, Deb. I guess he's not interested." Justin said dejectedly.

"I was afraid of that." Deb brushed Justin's hair out of his eyes and patted his cheek.

Justin looked up and smiled. He looked over at Brian talking to Emmett. "He's still my friend and I'm happy with that. I can't expect him to change for me."

"You can't ask a leopard to change his stripes."

He laughed. "Something like that."

"I know he likes you, Sunshine. I hear him talk about something you said or did all of the time. If he didn't care he wouldn't talk like that."

"Thanks, Deb. That's nice to know."

_Spring 2005_

_~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~_

In the spring of that year, Drew came out with an announcement on a local T.V. broadcast. During one of Emmett's "Queer Guy" segments Drew kissed him. He was quickly fired from the Ironmen football team. He didn't let it get him down. He contacted people around the US and Canada about playing or coaching for their football teams. An old buddy in Toronto said they could use him as a quarterback coach. Drew knew that the Canadian Football League was a way to stay 'in the game'. Eventually, he might be able to play again and maybe work his way back to a player in the US. He took the job.

Emmett got fired as the "Queer Guy" because of Drew's kiss. They discussed moving to Toronto together. Emmett had been in love with the city ever since he'd visited it for the Liberty Ride. Everyone that they knew who had moved there loved they gay-friendly feel of the place. Drew and Emmett decided to move and found a house with a large dining room for entertaining.

Now Brian was really alone. The last of the gang was gone. He talked to Cynthia at work and had a few regulars at Woody's that he'd chat with, but it wasn't the same.

At least he managed to re-open Babylon after Stockwell's initial shut down of all gay bars. They had to promote it as a dance club, and indeed, the clientele was gay and straight. As long as they had money, Brian figured, he'd tolerate the 'breeders'. Business picked up again and they made up for the lost months after Stockwell became mayor.

_7/16/2005_

_~ ~ ~ Justin ~ ~ ~_

One Friday morning Brian and Justin were on the train per their usual routine. Justin said, "I finished that painting I told you about. It turned out great. You should come over and see it in the next few days. I'll cook something."

Brian only seemed interested in his newspaper. "I can't. I'm getting ready for a trip."

It wasn't unusual for Brian to take business trips, often leaving early in the week to visit clients out of town, so Justin shrugged it off. "OK. Never mind." He was disappointed, though, that yet another attempt to get closer to Brian was turned down. He decided to change the subject to something he was pretty sure they _could_ do together. "I'm looking forward to the Anti-Prop 14 fundraiser tomorrow, aren't you?"

"Not going. I'm busy." Brian said matter-of-factly.

Justin was shocked. "Why not? It's your club. It's for a good cause."

"I'm letting them use Babylon, aren't I?"

"Yes, but, you're a member of the gay community, too, you know."

Brian glanced at him. "Just because I fuck men doesn't mean I'm part of some _community_."

"How can you say that? It's about rights, _our_ rights: adoption rights, legal partners, other issues that could lead to marriage equality?"

Brian snorted. "My visitation rights are fine for Gus, and I don't want to _get married_."

Justin rolled his eyes. He realized that every attempt he made to get to know Brian outside of the train was met with some excuse. He stared out the window for a minute. He wondered what Brian's reason was for not attending the fundraiser. "Where are you going to _be_ tomorrow night?"

Brian furrowed his brows and said, rather loudly, "I don't have to tell you. _We're not married_."

Justin didn't appreciate being spoken to like that. "Trust me, you'd be the _last_ one I'd want to be married to." He picked up his messenger bag to get ready to depart the train. "I was just wondering where you're going that's so important."

"I'm leaving tomorrow night to go to Australia for Mardi Gras. I'll be gone a week and a half."

"All by yourself."

Brian smiled. "I'm hoping to meet many fine young men once I get there."

Justin laughed. "Meaningless tricks, you mean." He leaned forward until they were eye to eye. "One of these days, Brian, you are going to have to let someone in – let someone be close to you."

"Fuck you." Brian said softly as he turned away.

"No, thanks. You're just fucking yourself." Justin exited the train without looking back.


	8. Chapter 8

_7/17/2005_

_~ ~ ~ Brian ~ ~ ~_

Halfway to My Destination

Brian was in the back of a limo thinking of Mardi Gras. His driver was taking him to the airport. Suddenly, an announcement came the radio that there's been a bomb threat at Babylon.

"Stop!" Brian yelled. The driver stopped suddenly and Brian spilled the scotch in his hand all over his shirt. His focus, though, was on the bomb threat. "Turn the car around".

As the driver drove back and approached Babylon, they could see a crowd cordoned off and many police cars. Brian asked his driver to stay and wait for word from him. He exited the limo and saw that the police were loading what he assumed was the bomb into the back of the bomb squad truck and taking it away.

Brian approached an officer and identified himself as the owner of Babylon. He soon was introduced to the officer in charge of the investigation and gave him a statement. The whole time, though, Brian was looking around for Justin.

Just as the policewoman finished with him, Brian finally saw a familiar face coming towards him. It was Justin. _Thank God._

Brian rushed up to Justin and hugged him. "I was in my car on the way to the airport when I heard about the bomb threat." He ran his hands up and down Justin's arms. "I hoped nothing was going to happen to you."

"I'm fine. Still shaken up a little." Justin smiled. "I think I need a drink."

"Come back to my place and have a drink. I could use one, too."

"What about your trip?"

"The plane has already taken off by now. I'll have to miss it." He waved his hand dismissively. "Doesn't matter. I'll do something some other time."

Justin looked surprised at the invitation. "Sure. That'd be great."

"Do you want to ride back with me? I have the car and driver."

"No, that's OK. Then I'd have to come back for my car later. I need my car to take Daphne to a bridal shower brunch tomorrow."

"As her significant other?" Brian gave a sarcastic grin.

"Yeah, whatever." Justin waved his hand. "I'll just meet you at your apartment."

Brian smiled. "OK. One thing, though. I might be in the shower when you get there, so just use your key to get in. Do you still have the key?"

Justin checked his key ring and selected one key, holding it up. "Yep."

Brian looked down at his stained shirt. "I have to get all of this crap off of me."

"What happened?"

"I spilled a drink when the limo stopped."

"I've always known that you have a drinking problem." Justin snickered. Brian gave him a slight smile. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you later."

Brian went back to his place and the driver helped him unload his bags. Brian paid the driver and tipped him, sending him home. After Brian took off his soiled shirt and the rest of his clothes, he stepped into the shower. He began to think about how much Justin meant to him and how he needed to change. The kid he met on the train five years ago was gone, and in his place was a fine young man. Someone who was always there for him. He needed to share with Justin how much he meant to him.

As he was finishing his shower he heard footsteps and Justin's voice, "Hello, Brian. It's me, Justin."

"Yeah, come on in. The bar is there. Just pour yourself what you'd like and something for me, too."

As Brian exited the bathroom, he wrapped a towel around himself and walked over to the kitchen counter where a smiling Justin was waiting with two drinks.

"It's Jim Beam. Is that OK?"

Brian nodded and then asked, "What are you having?"

"Just a shot of tequila." Justin saw the luggage on the floor. "Can you get a later flight to Australia? Maybe tomorrow?"

"I'm just going to cancel the whole thing. I'll try to get some of the money back, but I'm not counting on it." Brian sighed. "Somehow the trip doesn't seem so important now."

They clinked their glasses together. Justin said, "Nothing like a bomb threat to put everything in perspective."

"Well, then." Brian held up his glass. "Here's to survival." They shot back their drinks.

Justin smiled a little and Brian inquired, "What?"

"Nothing."

"C'mon."

Justin shrugged a little and said, "It just reminds me of the last time we were here like this. You'd just finished the Liberty Ride and you'd taken a shower…"

"_We'd_ taken …" The images of that evening danced in Brian's head.

"Yes, _we'd_ taken a shower."

"Yes." Brian stepped a little closer. "And you asked me out."

Justin seemed a little surprised at Brian's approach. "Which met with mediocre results."

Brian moved closer and said, "I remember that we kissed." He moved ever closer, his lips an inch in front of Justin's.

"Yes."

Brian kissed Justin the way that they did that night, gentle and soft. He barely pulled back, just millimeters away from Justin's mouth. "Ask me again."

Justin was confused. "Hmmm?"

Brian gave a slight nod with his eyebrows raised in a silent signal of encouragement.

Justin seemed to get the hint as he slowly smiled. "Brian, would you like to go out with me?"

"Sure. Sounds good."

Their lips met again. They held the kiss a little longer.

"Where shall we go? Dinner, dancing … a movie?"

Justin's eyes narrowed and he pulled back. "Are you making fun of me, because…"

"No, not at all. I'm the one…" Brian put down his glass and held Justin's face in his hands. "I was worried about you today. I didn't want anything to happen to you." He paused to think about what he wanted to say. He didn't want Justin to doubt his intentions. "I realize that almost everyone that I ever cared for is gone or moved away." He smiled. "But you have been a constant in my life for the last five years. Here you are. You're smart, funny, attractive, caring and you put up with me better than anyone." He was encouraged when Justin smiled back. "Today, when I thought of life without you, I realized how empty it would be."

"I'd miss the hell out of you, too." Justin admitted.

"I thought you were hot the first time I saw you, but you were just a high school kid. I decided that it would be too difficult to try to score with you in the ten minutes we had on the train."

"I'm sure you've picked up guys at Babylon faster than that." Justin smiled.

"You were different. We established our honesty pledge right away and then I appreciated that for what it was."

"What do you mean?" Justin kissed Brian's chest gently.

"I wasn't going to bullshit my way into your pants. I wasn't going to lay a line on you. And…" He paused. "If I slept with you then I'd be done with you, if I followed my usual mode of operation. But, I didn't want our friendship to end like that."

"You're stuck with me for a while, Brian. Are you ready to actually get to know me and let me in?" He looked intently at Brian. "Are you?"

"Yes. You might not like what you find, though."

"I know enough that I know I want to explore. You don't scare me."

"Really? Because this whole thing scares the shit out of me." Brian, indeed, felt fear. The fear of opening up to a relationship. The fear of the possibility of getting hurt or rejected. But then he thought of the young man in front of him and all that he meant to him. All those weeks, or was it months, of wondering what it would be like to explore all that Justin was offering. He pulled Justin to him again and began their first passionate kiss. He sealed his mouth over Justin's as his tongue plundered that sweet mouth. All of that time thinking of Justin, fantasizing about him, came to that moment as they wrapped their arms around each other in a heated embrace. Justin moaned into his mouth and his hands wrapped around Brian's back.

Brian's cell phone rang. "Shit." He glanced at it. "It's Mikey. He probably heard about the bomb threat and …"

Justin smiled as he pulled back slightly. "I'm sure he's worried. You should take it."

The phone was opened and Brian put it on speaker. "Mikey?"

_"__Oh, my God, Brian!__What the fuck happened?__Are you OK?__I heard something on the news about a bomb threat.__I tried you earlier."_

As Michael ranted into the phone, Brian continued to kiss Justin's lips and neck. He paused long enough to say, "I'm fine. Cops got the bomb. Everything's OK."

_"__I heard and I was so worried.__I told Ben that I had to call you.__I thought you were going on a trip.__You said Australia, right?__Did you go?__Where are you?"_

Brian began unbuttoning Justin's shirt and continued his kisses. As he lowered himself to his knees, kissing Justin's chest, he whispered, "Halfway to my destination."

Justin chuckled and ran his fingers through Brian's hair.

_"__Hello?" _The voice on the phone was persistent.

Brian's irritation at the intrusion was increasing. He stood up to speak directly into the phone. "Yes, Mikey. I'm at my loft. Trip is cancelled. I found something, or someone, that I'd rather do."

_"__A trick?__You survive a bomb threat and pick up some random fuck wandering the parking lot?__I don't believe you."_

Now Brian was at his limit for his questioning friend. Justin was silently standing in front of him, his shirt unbuttoned to the waist. Brian considered what Michael said about a trick. This young man, this friend, this object of desire was nothing like that. "Not a trick. A special guy and I were about to …" He paused, realizing that he wasn't _sure what all_ they were about to do. He knew that, whatever it was, it shouldn't be rushed. "Justin, can you spend the night?"

"Yes." Justin answered softly, while pulling off his shirt. Brian kissed his neck and his hand brushed over Justin's chest, causing the young man to gasp.

_"__He's there right now?__Justin?__That kid from the train?__Did you say __spend the night__?!__You've never asked a guy to spend the night."_

"There's a first time for everything. Take care, I have to go." Brian snapped the phone shut and he grabbed Justin to kiss him again.

Justin pulled back and smiled gently. "I want to take things slow. It's taken us this long to get together, let's do it right and take our time now, too."

"I've got all night and nowhere to go but here." The cell phone rang again and Brian turned it off.

Justin licked his lips. "Shall we move to the bedroom?"

"I'll be right there." Brian motioned to the door. "Let me lock up."

They kissed and Justin turned to go to the bedroom, removing clothing as he went. Brian quickly locked the door, set the alarm and turned off most of the lights. By the time he tossed his towel over a chair and got to the bedroom, Justin was naked wearing nothing but a smile on his lips. _Those sweet, raspberry colored lips._ Brian thought it was the most beautiful sight he could remember ever seeing. He crawled onto the bed and reclined next to his soon-to-be lover. "What did you mean when you said you want to go slow?"

"I want to explore every part of you with my hands, my fingertips, my lips, my tongue." He licked Brian's neck for emphasis. "I want to caress you and find out what turns you on, where you're ticklish and where your erogenous zones are. I want to hold you, kiss you and make love to you. And then, after that, we can f…"

Brian's finger went across Justin's lips, stopping him from saying anything more. "We can continue lovemaking."


	9. Chapter 9

~~ Brian ~~

In His Bed and His Life

Brian surprised himself by admitting that he really did want to make love to Justin, and Justin seemed just as surprised, since his eyes widened and he froze for a few seconds. If Brian wanted to fuck, they could have done that numerous times, but what he wanted now was different. He wanted Justin, not some trick, and that meant making love.

Justin started again by licking Brian's finger, and when it moved he continued licking his hand, down his arm, to his shoulder, pushing Brian down on the bed while he straddled his thighs exploring more. They both moaned as their cocks rubbed against each other, Brian gasped as Justin licked one nipple then the other, slowly moving down his body. He kissed his stomach and hips and legs, moving down to one ankle then starting up the other.

When Justin got back up to Brian's cock he looked Brian in the eyes as he deep throated Brian. After licking, sucking, tonguing and massaging Brian's balls for several minutes Brian grunted "Stop!"

Justin looked up and smiled. Brian pulled Justin up to him and kissed him as hard as he could. He needed time to get his breathing back under control. With little effort Brian flipped them and smirked. He looked into Justin's eyes and said "Turnabout is fair play." He then set to lick and kiss every part of Justin he could reach.

Brian wanted to memorize Justin's body with his tongue and hands. Never had he wanted to take so much time with someone. He'd never wanted someone in his bed as much as he wanted Justin in his bed, and in his life. After exploring Justin's body for what felt like hours he proceeded to a blowjob. He stopped just before Justin was about to come.

"Brian" Justin gasped as Brian pulled off. He looked to Brian.

"Turn over" he whispered. Justin caught his breath and turned, giving Brian a knowing glance. A glance that let Brian know that, whatever followed, Justin was ready for it.

Brian continued his exploration, loving the sounds and gasps that Justin gave as he gave Justin an expert rimming. Soon they had both had enough and were desperate for the final step. Brian prepared Justin as quickly as possible, with lube and one, two, and then three fingers.

"Fuck, Brian… please."

Hearing those desperate pleas were almost too much. Brian rolled on a condom and sunk, slowly, into Justin's ass. They both groaned at the feeling, the connection, the heat. Brian started thrusting slowly, until Justin was moaning loudly, incoherently. Justin turned his head and Brian leaned down to kiss him. Then Brian got back up on his knees and angled his thrusts enough to hit Justin's prostate. The noises emanating from Justin's mouth let Brian know he was hitting the right spot. Every touch that night, every move was met by a sigh or a moan. Justin was so responsive that Brian felt that they were truly in tune and he knew everything that Justin liked in bed. This final act, the complete connection of bodies, was the culmination of all of that exploration. Brian leaned forward enough to take hold of Justin's cock and started stroking it in time with his thrusts. With his other hand he held Justin's hip to hold him in place. Both men were moving in perfect unison, like they had been doing this for years, instead of it being their first time.

Justin looked back to Brian. "I'm going to … oh, God, I'm going to come."

Brian leaned forward and kissed Justin's neck and mouth as he continued to thrust. With one more stroke Justin came, moaning out loud. The clenching of his ass pulled Brian's orgasm from him, filling the condom as he yelled.

Their hands stilled, but they kept their grips on each other, both riding the waves of the most powerful orgasms they'd ever had. After their breathing slowed, they shared a look of love, heat, appreciation, and one last sweet kiss as a silent thank you.

Brian slowly pulled out of Justin and made his way to the bathroom for a washcloth, with which they used to wipe off each other. Brian laid the washcloth over the side of the wastebasket as Justin crawled under the bed sheet. Brian climbed back in bed, happily putting his arm out for Justin to snuggle next to him. They shared another smile and kiss before closing their eyes. Brian couldn't resist one last kiss to Justin's head, which Justin returned to Brian's chest.

After a few minutes, Brian could tell that Justin was asleep. It didn't take Brian much longer to relax enough to be ready for slumber. He took his last few minutes of consciousness to marvel at how wonderful it felt to finally have Justin in his bed.

~ ~ Justin ~ ~

Justin's phone alarm woke him up at nine o'clock in the morning. He turned over to look at Brian, who was still sleeping peacefully, his mouth slightly open. Justin smiled at his lover and kissed his shoulder gently, so as to not wake him. He remembered all of the wonderful events from the night before. It was truly an expression of months, years even, of attraction that was finally acted out. There were moments of quiet and gentle exploration, as well as noisy, sticky moments of passion. It was all great and exceeded what he could have expected for a first night with any man.

He got out of bed and began to get dressed. His appointment with Daphne pressed on his mind and he didn't want to disappoint his friend, although the desire in his heart made him want to stay. As he was getting his shoes on, Brian awoke.

"'Morning. What time is it?" Brian asked, still groggy from slumber.

"It's a little after nine."

"Are you going somewhere?"

"I have to take Daphne to that bridal shower brunch, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember, but I didn't realize it was this early."

"I'm supposed to pick her up at nine thirty, so we can be there at ten. The restaurant is near her place." Justin finished putting on his shoes and got his cell phone and his keys into his pocket.

"So, you will be posing as the boyfriend?"

"She'll be introducing me as her friend, Justin. If they want to infer more into that, then … whatever. I told her I'd hold her hand, but no kisses or any other PDA."

Brian sat up in bed and tilted his head. "I'm not sure that I'm OK with you posing as someone's boyfriend." He eyes danced playfully as a smile crept onto his lips.

"Is that right?" Justin leaned forward and kissed those lips. "Speaking as the real boyfriend of the man in question?"

"Mmmm-hmm." Brian grabbed him and kissed him more passionately, his tongue plunging the depths of Justin's mouth. "And don't you forget it."

Justin was breathing heavy with the passion of the kiss. "I'll never forget last night, that's for sure."

"No, you won't." Brian traced his finger over Justin's mouth with affection. "And neither will I."

Justin looked at the clock. "I have to run, Brian." He got off of the bed and checked his pockets one last time.

"Will I see you tonight?" Brian looked at him tenderly. Justin could see the want … the need … in those hazel eyes.

He smiled, feeling the closeness between them. "Yes. I'll call your cell when I'm no longer Daphne's boyfriend."

Brian nodded as he got out of bed, naked, and walked toward the door to unlock it and turn off the alarm. He turned to hold Justin and whisper in his ear. "Don't get used to being with a girl. I like you the way you are."

"And I like you just like this." Justin slid his arms around Brian's waist and down to his ass. "I look forward to this evening."

"Maybe you should bring a bag so you can stay overnight." He shrugged a shoulder.

"Will do." They kissed. "Next time."

"Next time."

_Late Summer of 2005_

_~ ~ ~ Justin ~ ~ ~_

Over the next few weeks, Brian and Justin were together as much as possible, but time was an issue while Justin was finishing his Bachelor of Arts. As soon as he graduated, though, he practically moved in with Brian.

Eventually, Brian convinced Justin that keeping two places was a waste of money and asked Justin to move in. They found the arrangement took some getting used to, but they soon settled in to life with their own set of rules.

Justin told Brian early on that he was a one man man, and that there would be no other guys or fucking around for him. Brian promised nothing in that regard. He did, however, stick to a rule about not kissing other men. It wasn't until he had the blond in his bed every night that he really considered monogamy was a possibility. There was great satisfaction in his relationship with Justin. Nights that his boyfriend wasn't there were empty and lonely, much like his life had been before he first saw that 'kid' in his school uniform on the train.


	10. Chapter 10

_First week of September 2005_

_~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~_

Everyone You Love

Brian told Justin he was planning a trip to Toronto and asked that he come with him. Justin happily accepted. He was looking forward to seeing Debbie and Gus again. He also realized that the invite meant that Brian was fully accepting Justin in his life and wanted him to do the equivalent of 'meet the family'.

_~ ~ ~ Brian ~ ~ ~_

Emmett met them at the airport. Justin gave him a warm hug for a hello. Brian even gave him a handshake and a one-armed hug. Justin snickered at the surprised look on Emmett's face. They went to a restaurant near the airport to grab a bite before heading back to the neighborhood everyone from Pittsburgh had gravitated to.

Justin excused himself for a minute to wash up. As soon as he was out of ear shot, Brian asked Emmett. "How are you and Drew doing?"

"Fabulous. He's wonderful. He's doing well coaching and …"

"I don't give a fuck about his _career_, I want to know how you're doing with just him. Just one guy in your bed every night. It's just you two, right?"

Emmett saw the dawn. Brian was asking about monogamy. Staying true to one person and not tricking. "I feel honored that you value my opinion on matters of the heart, Brian."

"More like matters of the dick."

"Why ask me? Why not Michael? He's your best friend."

"He had his share of lovers, that's true. But you had no qualms about going down on a guy in a back room, or screening potential roommates by having them fuck your brains out."

Emmett sipped his water thoughtfully. "I see." He smiled. "You're right, I'm a better person to ask." He patted Brian's hand. "Yes, Brian. Monogamy is a possibility, even for a gay man. Drew and I are very happy and we get it often, so no need for extra-curricular activities." He nodded towards Justin's chair. "He's so young and so hot for you, I'm sure he can fulfill almost any fantasy."

"He does. With regularity." Brian smiled a satisfied smile.

"Well, then, Mr. Kinney. Be happy with that. It should be enough for you for the rest of your life."

"Hmmm. I wonder."

_~ ~ ~ Brian ~ ~ ~_

While in Toronto, Brian had a meeting with a fellow advertiser one morning, so Justin went with Lindsay and they visited three of the most prominent art galleries in town. Lindsay worked at one of them and showed Justin everything there, including a back room that was an art studio available to rent to local artists. She told him about an educational program that her gallery had worked out with the Toronto Art Museum, where artists were trained in restoration.

After a whirlwind day, Brian and Justin returned to the apartment that they'd been using for the weekend.

They got a couple of glasses of wine and sipped while they looked out the window at a panoramic view of the city.

Brian asked, "So, how do you like Toronto?"

Justin replied, "It's a beautiful city, with a lot to offer."

"I always enjoy my visits here."

"Of course you do." Justin smiled. "Everyone you love lives here now."

Brian turned and touched Justin's cheek. He had something important to admit. "Not everyone. There's this guy from Pittsburgh that I've fallen for."

Justin looked shocked, and gulped before saying. "Brian, you…?"

He didn't need to finish his sentence. Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and nodded.

Justin put his hand over Brian's. "I love you, too."

They kissed, sealing their love and expressing with every movement, every touch, their deep feelings for each other. They went to the bedroom and made mad, passionate love to each other.

After their session and a little cleanup, Brian found himself on the bed with Justin, stroking his golden hair. He had one more thing to say to him. "Justin,

I was thinking about buying this place and moving to Toronto. But I'd only consider it if you'd live here with me."

"I'd love to move to Toronto and this place is awesome. Oh, Brian, that would make me so happy."

"So, is that a yes?"

"Yes. I will live here with you."

Brian opened the Toronto branch of Kinnetik and soon had a thriving business in both locations. He hired a new, young man named Paul as the man in charge of operations in Pittsburgh.

Justin took over the planning for moving from Pittsburgh to Toronto. He saw to the movers, arranged for furniture and did all of the decorating. He soon signed up for more studies in their new city and rented studio space.

As Brian was assembling staff for Kinnetik North, as he called it, several people applied for jobs in accounting. One applicant surprised the hell out of him, though. It was Ted Schmidt. He confessed to Brian that he'd dealt with a crystal meth addiction that almost killed him, but that he'd gone through a complete recovery and was clean and sober for a year. Brian hired him on a trial basis and soon saw that his old friend was, indeed, a crackerjack accountant. Within a few months of hiring him, Brian promoted him to CFO.

Justin fit right in with the gang of transplants from Pittsburgh. Michael and Ben were very happy to see Brian doing so well and succumbing to the realization that one can be very happy with a partner. In fact, it was possible that that was where true happiness lay for Brian. Lindsay and Mel practically adopted Justin right away. Mel seemed to take particular delight in the fact that the wild man, Brian Kinney, had been tamed by such a sweet young man.

After a few months of living in Toronto, Brian and Justin discussed monogamy … more like they discussed Brian to be able to adhere to it. He said that he would do it if it meant that they could, eventually, do it raw and throw out all of their condoms. He curtailed any sexual encounters outside of the apartment, except, of course, the few times he and Justin found opportunities to fuck in office bathrooms, stuck elevators and a movie theatre that they found that still had a balcony.

And one of the more memorable such moments was back in Pittsburgh. They took a train ride from South Hills Junction to downtown and proved to themselves that, yes indeed, a ten minute train ride gave them enough time to fuck in the bathroom.

As they exited the train, tucking in their shirts and smiling like school boys at their quick, hot, encounter, Brian said, "I should have done that with you all of those years ago."

"Oh, no. We weren't ready for each other then. Our lives would not have lined up and you weren't boyfriend material." Justin shook his head at the thought.

Brian held Justin's hands in his own and looked intently into his blue eyes. "So I'm now boyfriend material?"

"Yes. You're a fantastic boyfriend … partner." Justin reached to touch Brian's cheek.

"How do you think I'd be as a husband?" Brian had a glint in his eye.

Justin was shocked. "Are you proposing?"

Brian held Justin's face in his hands. "Well, the six months wait period for our second HIV test is up this month. We can get tested again and then have a small ceremony followed by a most intimate honeymoon. No condoms." He leaned in to growl into Justin's ear. "I want to fuck your tight ass raw!"

"Oh, my God. That'd be wonderful!" Justin couldn't contain his excitement.

Brian smiled and then spoke softly. "Justin, you've brightened my mornings for over five years and have made my days happier since we've been spending days _and_ nights together. I never want to be without you. Marry me?"

"Yes, I will marry you in beautiful Toronto and live in our fabulous apartment, holding you in my arms every night."

"And I'll be seeing my beautiful Sunshine every morning."

~ ~ ~ THE END ~ ~~


End file.
